After so long..

After so long, i decided to blog again.. Not because i am bored or what, but mainly because i wasn't quitting in blogging but more like being distracted with many other things and entertainments in Malaysia could really consume my time like a hungry bulldog (i wish i have 30 hrs per day sometimes).

Now, after awhile, after i somehow finished what i need to do (back here in malaysia), and when i finally back to my normal self where i have at least 2-3 hrs spare time per day to rejuvenate and calm down my mind, here i am, to blog.. again..

Anyway, i write because i wish, i love, and i prefer to (to express myself in many ways), and not because i urge to lure more people to come and witness my blog or what.. that's not my intention to blog (though, sometimes when you accidentally created something nice, you do have that kind of urge to show it to the world.. but yea, that's not all that important).

Now, let's come back to what happened to me lately, well... I am really involved in gaming lately.. due to some new contents and some other commitment that i've already invested before, however, that doesn't mean i lost my life and devoted myself to the virtual cult (which need some time for my parents to realize and understand that). Aside from gaming, i do go out, socialize, do this do that.. refurbish my social connection, expand and pre-plan abit for my future career and so forth. Sometimes, when i look at others with their intimate partners (be it boyfriend/girlfriend), i would ask myself, "do i feel the loneliness now, since i m still single?" "do i have someone to turn to if i really do feel that?" and so on..

I do have several relationships before, be it official, secretive, occasional or even "accidental" (lol), and sometimes i feel that i am more happy to stay single at times, and vice versa.. at times as well. Well, everything has its extremes, and it's same for intimate relationship and so on.. it's not as simple as describing it like a ping pong game or soccer that's linear in direction, rather.. it's pretty much multi-dimensional and involved alot of external factors which complicate things well as bad as what i am trying to confuse you (whoever that's reading this now) with silly metaphoric comparisons. I havent been dating/seeing anyone for some time now, i cant quite remember was I with someone during last valentine, but i am pretty sure that i will be spending the night alone tomorrow (maybe with some other friends that are not related to this topic at all) and strangely, i don't feel sick, lonely and any negative feelings.. (Well, maybe i did too many things last time, and it's time for me to stay still for 2-3 years.. lolx)

Anyway, happy valentine's to those who celebrates it, congratulate to those who believes that you've found your soulmate, please continue to believe that and make it happen, and here's a piece of poem i wrote years ago that i would like to share with anyone who cares to read it.



"Replacement"

Cupid The messenger of Love,
The symbol of love above,
Knowing you are busy at this time of year,
Please bring lost ones cheer.

To hearts which pine,
Guide these lost ones,
Show the right signs.
They shall find who they seek,

Oh Cupid just give them a little peek,
Join these two souls into one,
With no aimless shots that allowed the love to leak
Unto some unworthy preeks that deserved a depressing monday night

Oh god, oh lord, or whatever I should called you
Spare me a chance to be your servant
To replace the tired cupid that seems to lose his cue
As he seriously misunderstood ur meaning

Of bringing fortune and misfortune to people
And the differences between matching and playing
Since he flirts around like blowing bubbles
Please, spare me a chance to be the replacement

Just for this year.. at least


~tata