Common Kedai Runcit Ettique

Today, after lunch with colleagues @ Jalan Batai (near my office), we then walked to a small convenient store (Kedai Runcit in Malay) intended to just browse around.

While wandering around mindlessly with Lenny, she (yes, a she) suddenly says that she wanna go take a look at the pads. So, we walked over to the sanitary pad section, where in side glance I saw the label of KY Gelly. Hence, my head just turned naturally to that direction, and yeah ah huh I saw KY Gelly as sighted, and.... it's placed above fisherman's friends below some traditional herbal oilment, and in between some sport use heating rub oil and Dracoline - an external lotion to treat baby rashes.. HOW WRONG CAN THAT BE?!?!?

hahaha...

KY Gelly - a world famed lubricant for sexual intercourse purposes decked next to heating oil and baby rash lotion?????????

Imagine this, what if a guy with bad eye sight, mistakenly took the heating oil and somehow mistakenly perceived and thinks that that's KY.. and apply it on his humanrod... ok.. that's gonna be funny.

Not so dark humor

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
— Mel Brooks

lessons from nature

When you attempt to swat a fly,
It is not because you fear harm from it.
The fly would not suck your blood
Or give you a disease.
You attempt to cause its death
Simply for the annoyance of its existence.

The fly, so harshly reprimanded,
Does not retreat to its room in tears,
Does not hyperventilate or have a panic attack,
Does not cut itself,
Does not contemplate suicide.

It simply flies on.

Shocky Shower

Ok. Many of you should already know this, that i am not a person that font to bath more than once per day, and during chilly weather, maybe once per 2 days. It's not that i am not hygienic or lazy or what, it's just that i don't really like the idea of being wet at times. I am a "dry" person, and stuffs that make me sweat or getting wet isn't that great of an idea unless the rare occasion of my desire of getting wet occurs (ok, that comes out wrong).

Anyway, ya you get the idea that i am not that much of a bath-y person (though i still know my hygiene limit, and i don't stretch it to an extreme limit). We ll, not until recently, when i discovered the fun of shocky shower. This place where i am staying now, it's not that old, but it has its own historical values, and due to aging and evolution some of the equipments modified by themselves, and this particular shower evolved as well. It shocks. Moderately. Thrillingly. It's like a double stimulation when you're getting a shower to wake yourself up during the morning or midnight to get some work done, and this thing shocks you. It instantly energizes you, and give you a kinetic boost to get you works done. Pretty handy at times isn't it?

In terms of security sake, i've confirmed with my housemates that stayed in this house for so long, and their answers = it shocks, but it does no harm other than stimulating you. And to make things clear.. it's not the water or whatsoever that contains the electricity, but the handle, the switch, as well as the shower cap itself. And it does not feel like intense electricity, more like some vibrating current, and that's why it's harmless.

So, my advice here is, for those working adults who hate drinking coffee in the morning to energize you up and needs something to do so, get shocky shower. For those that lacks a solid reason to shower so often (except you're in malaysia, you do not need a reason to skip it, it's just too hot to explain everything), get shocky shower. For those that love experimenting and try new things, quit your drug by getting shocky shower.

It shocks, it's fun, it energizes. *insert advertisement background music

Soyzza

So, i was having this nice greek flavored pizza (with lamb and mint, etc) with some of my unmentionable friends. While eating in the kitchen, at the dining table, chatting bout why ostrich can't fly even though thy have wings on their backs, one of my friends got too excited on his attempt to debate his way through, his elbow hits a bottle of light soysauce in the 90'degree angle at the bar counter and the bottle of HungPo soy sauce got shaken off its balance and landed on the dining with a 360 summersault. It was all fine, except for the fact that the bottle of soy sauce decided to take its cap off for a bow.. and *squirt... almost 50% of its internal content sprayed right on the wonderful pizza...

........

The thing bout that greek pizza is that, it's quite meaty, and it uses mozarella cheese that are great in absorbing liquid and flavors.. And so, the pizza can be considered ruined.. practically.. not until the culprit of this accident decided to give it a shot.. And just like any of the epic movie with a twist, it turns out to be great, and... weird in a way, i've never tasted anything close to that... imagine a greek-style grilled lamb along with excessive amount of soy sauce? side by side with tomatoes, mozarella cheese, corianders, greek herbs, mints, etc.. but it somehow works for us, miraculously.

So, kids, DO try this at home under supervision of adults and make sure that the speed dial number on your mobile contains instant access to any emergency line (911, ambulance, etc)

Joke...

is a short story or series of words spoken or communicated with the intent of being laughed at or found humorous by either listener/reader or performer/writer. A practical joke differs in that the humor is not verbal, but mainly physical (e.g. throwing a custard pie in the direction of somebody's face, squeezing toothpaste on someone's lips when he/she is sleeping, etc).

Jokes are performed either in a staged situation, such as a comedy in front of an audience, or informally for the entertainment of participants and onlookers. The desired response is generally laughter, although loud groans are also a common response to some forms of jokes, such as puns and some lame ass stories... (which are obviously fictional in many sense..)

Laughter is an effect that arises if a tense expectation is transformed into nothing

"An Indian at an Englishman's table in Surat saw a bottle of ale being opened, and all the beer, turned to froth, rushed out. The Indian, by repeated exclamations, showed his great amazement. - Well, what's so amazing in that? asked the Englishman. - Oh, but I'm not amazed at its coming out, replied the Indian, but how you managed to get it all in. - This makes us laugh, and it gives us a hearty pleasure. This is not because, say, we think we are smarter than this ignorant man, nor are we laughing at anything else here that it is our liking and that we noticed through our understanding. It is rather that we had a tense expectation that suddenly vanished..."

To me, laughter has a specific function related to the human brain (oh, duh, everything's related to the brain). Jokes and laughter are mechanisms for the brain to learn nonsense (that's what i believe). For that reason, that's why jokes are usually not as funny when you hear them repeatedly. Our brains work like computer, it recognize patterns and give it a match to it everytime something related appeared upon our eyes/senses. When a familiar connection is disrupted and an alternative unexpected new link is made in the brain via a different route than expected, then laughter occurs as the new connection is made. This theory explains a lot about jokes (ok, that sounds like.. simple?)

Why jokes are only funny the first time they are told: once they are told the pattern is already there, so there can be no new connections, and so no laughter.

Why jokes have an elaborate and often repetitive set up: The repetition establishes the familiar pattern in the brain. A common method used in jokes is to tell almost the same story twice and then deliver the punch line the third time the story is told. The first two tellings of the story evoke a familiar pattern in the brain, thus priming the brain for the punch line.

Why jokes often rely on stereotypes: the use of a stereotype links to familiar expected behavior, thus saving time in the set-up.

Why jokes are variants on well-known stories (eg the genie and a lamp): This again saves time in the set up and establishes a familiar pattern.

Jokes often depend on the humor of the unexpected, the mildly taboo (which can include the distasteful or socially improper), or playing off stereotypes and other cultural beliefs. Many jokes fit into more than one category.

Jokes are meant to be stress reliever, pleasure invoker, laughter inducer, even when sometimes involved the embarassment of a certain victim.. Oh well, i can continue writing bout it until the next morning, there's just so much in my mind that i would like to share.. but due to time constrain and everything, i have to go now, and just one last point...

Showing off your wealth by burning your friends (not yours!!) original dvd games and attempted to cover it up by saying you're drunk ain't no fCking joke!!!

*sob...